Recently I have been in a serious rut, and I keep digging the hole deeper. It seems so simple, eating bad makes you feel bad, spending too much time on social media makes you ungrateful, isolating yourself from friends makes you lonely, and yet we continue to do these things knowing that they make us feel horrible.
We think it’s harmless, “oh I’m just going to scroll through Instagram it’s not going to negatively impact me” or “oh one cookie won’t kill me” and while these things are true, it sets the stage to continue these behaviors. One minute on Instagram turns into an hour, and one cookie can easily turn into ten. And we know better, we know that we know better!
It didn’t make sense to me why I did these things until I really thought about what I was doing and the consequences it was having on me mentally. We do these things because they’re easy and passive. We don’t have to put in energy to eat unhealthy, it is right at our fingertips. We don’t have to expend any effort looking through social media, it’s just a click away. We make these choices to do the easy things because they are a pacifier. They fill our idle time and don’t leave us the opportunity for independent thought, creation and so much more. It allows for us to be passive bystanders in our life and doesn’t challenge us to grow as people.
But instead of being harmless, these activities begin to deteriorate our minds and bodies. Spending hours on social media began to make me question my self worth and value. I saw all these advertisements for “perfect” lives, and instead of seeing how rich and fulfilling my life is, I saw all that I was lacking. This took a significant hit on my self-esteem and my perception of my life. So far to the point where I was angry and over emotional about certain things that should not bother me.
It was painful to realize these things about myself, the person who I think I should be and how far off I am from that person, but it was further agitated by the over consumption of social media. I have deleted Instagram and other social media apps off of my phone, for an opportunity to reflect and reground myself.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope to address more of these topics in later blog posts, please feel free to leave your comments and suggestions down below!